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paganvastlands
24 September 2012 @ 11:41 pm
"the Moon, she hangs like a cruel portrait
soft winds whisper the bidding of trees
as this tragedy starts with a shattered glass heart
and the Midnightmare trampling of dreams
but oh, no tears please...
fear and pain may accompany Death,
but it is desire that shepherds it's certainty
as We shall see..."

 
 
 
Current Mood: artistic
 
 
paganvastlands
22 February 2010 @ 12:04 pm
I'm in biology with a few minutes to spare so I figured I'd give a little update. I've called off drama with 90% of people who had a problem with me so now I'm living life happily without fighting and shit talking. I have things to be happy about and things to be sad about, but let me just say that it is amazing that I truly don't give a shit what people think of me anymore, otherwise I probably would've killed myself by now. It's funny, when I was 15 I felt that everyone hated me, people actually loved me... and now people hate me and miss the "old" Morgan and I honestly don't care. I love myself and that's what matters, that's what keeps me alive. I just can't believe people honestly told me for years to not care what other people think and now they're telling me to "listen" to other people.

But my sister put it this way, I just need to find a happy medium. Confident but not arrogant. Sexy but not sleazy. I'll get there eventually. But sorry... for those of you who miss the way I used to be, sad all the time and hating myself and having social anxiety... you're not getting that girl back. That's just selfish of you to ask me to be that way again. Sorry.

and since when was I ever innocent? I've been weird since elementary school o.O don't say stuff about me unless you've known me since I was a child. That's ridiculous.
 
 
Current Mood: hungryhungry
 
 
paganvastlands
13 February 2010 @ 01:29 am
Apparently it's supposed to snow in Florida. Again. I'm getting sick of the cold/rainy shit, I really am... not wishing summer upon this horrible state, but it could seriously warm up enough where I can wear my shorts and tights without DYING. And I don't have a sufficient coat that matches my clothing (yes I am shallow enough to choose beauty over being warm). Sucks when all your friends have TRENCH COATS and you don't got shit.

random survey that makes me look like a horrible teenager as usualCollapse )
 
 
Current Mood: indifferentindifferent
 
 
paganvastlands
07 February 2010 @ 06:31 pm
I haven't posted in forever, so here, have some pictures.Collapse )
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Current Mood: boredbored
 
 
paganvastlands
10 December 2009 @ 02:32 am
Your feelings, I can't help but rape them
I'm sorry, I don't feel the same
My heart inside is constantly hating
I'm sorry, I just throw you away...
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Current Mood: angryangsty
 
 
 
paganvastlands
10 December 2009 @ 01:13 am

I've noticed an abnormal amount of hate directed towards me lately. Not on the internet, in my personal life.
To the haters I say:

Be jealous. You're jealous because I have a good body, or I can get any man (or woman) I want, or because I actually have my own style, or because I'm friends with bands, or because I HAVE A FUCKING LIFE, or because I can actually stand up for myself and not be a pussy little pushover like yourselves. And I'm sure for saying all that, you are going to say "ew, she's stuck up," when you're really just jealous that I actually have confidence in myself.

Grow the fuck up. Jealousy is the root of ALL hatred, whether you want to believe it or not. I'm sorry that I'm better than you. Your hatred only puts you below me, and you don't seem to realize that eventually, you will have no one defending you. Everyone will be on my side of the fence. I have ruined lives before, and if you fuck me over to extreme levels, I won't be afraid to ruin yours. I'll make sure the whole world sees through your bullshit.

Now for less extreme rants, towards people that I know quite well and some may even be good friends of mine...

To you people who make it a daily life to copy me and my style, to take all my clothes and pretend you're a gawth kid when you don't know the first thing about it and actually think you can debate it with me (and I do such debates while wearing nothing goth at all), to pretend to know the lyrics to a metal song just because I'm hanging out with you, the suck-ups, the unoriginals:

BE YOURSELVES PLEASE. It seems all of you had your own thing going on until you met me, then it was like LOL LOOK AT HER CLOTHES GUYZ SHE'S SO GAWTH AND COOL SO I'MMA BUY EVERYTHING SHE HAS AND DYE MY HAIR THE SAME COLOR AND ARRANGE MY POSTERS IN MY ROOM THE SAME WAY (yeah not even joking). What the hell? I've made it very clear that I don't like it when people try to be me. It's trying to be SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT. You're not a goth, you're not a metalhead, so stop trying to be one just because I'M AROUND. I hate suck-ups and posers. Go back to dressing how you used to and listening to your shitty T-Pain shawty shit, k? I'll appreciate your company far more often.

To you... skanks, you insecure little girls who try to take a man who already has a woman, who actually think you can take something away from me, to you juggalette chicks who tried to take Brian from me constantly:

I may not be with Brian anymore, but you can believe I left a permanant mark on him. I know he wants me back because he realized that no bitch like you can love him the way I did. Keep trying, you won't get him, he's hard to catch and hard to keep. We're not together but that doesn't meant you can fucking handle him. You CAN'T. Don't even try to win him over just because you want to "beat me" in this little contest you hold. You may get laid by him but he won't remember you the next day. He'll always remember me, and he never even slept with me. No one put up with his shit more than I did.

Also, Cody. To my good friends: You can't have Cody. Sorry guys. I know we're not officially a real couple, and I know he's cute, but if I ever catch one of you even coming close to hitting on him you'll get popped in the mouth and our friendship will be done. Also keep in mind that he really doesn't want you anyways.
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Current Mood: restlessrestless
 
 
paganvastlands
29 November 2009 @ 01:36 am


AWWW YEEAAHHH MUTHAFOCKAS
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Current Mood: coldcold
 
 
paganvastlands
23 November 2009 @ 12:27 am

This was by far the best weekend I've had in awhile. Not because really huge awesome things happened, but because it was just like weekends back in the good days like exactly one year ago. On Friday me, my brother, and my cousin had a bonfire of sorts... not really big enough to be a bonfire, but a fire nonetheless. It was quite nostalgic. It took my brother a long time of solitude before he started hanging out with our cousin again, but the weekends have been actually interesting since we started spending them together again.

On Saturday we went to Alachua to hang out with Natalie. We bought some Faygos at the Chevron and spent a little time at the library before Natalie informed me that there was an ABANDONED HOUSE HIDDEN IN HER NEIGHBORHOOD. Natalie lives in the ghetto so we always have to be careful when we're there without a car... this house is so hidden that even though I drive right by it when I go to her house, I've never even noticed it. So we walk onto the property and notice that the front patio is completely collapsed. Oh noes. Luckily the wall in the back was completely smashed in. We walk inside and some stuff is still there, like old letters and birthday greetings and old schoolbooks from the 1940s. Only one piece of furniture is there and that would be the old couch. Overall it was pretty interesting. After the floorboard kinda caved in on my cousin's foot, we booked it out of there pretty quick. No pics because alas I am still cameraless.

Later on that day I saw New Moon with all my church folks. Just like last year. Good times... good times indeed. Invited my new man (yes, I have one already, God I cannot refuse the cute ones can I) and we just giggled the whole time at the cheesiness.

And today we just went to the mall (meaning me, my bro, my cousin, our buddy James, and my man) and just chilled out. Cody was horny but I was kind of zoning out and not paying attention so he ended up buying me a chai tea frappucino and that made me better, kind of. Speaking of that he's giving me money for a hatchetman charm tomorrow? Where did that come from...? I don't know, but I'm extremely grateful and actually feel slightly bad that he feels the need to spend money on me, but according to him I should stfu and not feel bad because it's his choice.

Anyway a very good weekend in all. I have to make origami for my class for extra credit so.. I'm out. Night.

 
 
Current Mood: chipperchipper
 
 
paganvastlands
16 November 2009 @ 09:47 am

wow, yeah... i dont even feel like having punctuation in this post cause im on a laptop and its just too much work for sick old me.
i didnt go to school today, feeling like shit. not gonna say what the problem is, but it was resolved earlier... my stomach still hurts though. it will be better by tomorrow. i feel bad for skipping school. sigh.

my cellphone makes me happy and giddy on the inside. free texting so i dont have to worry about using minutes and be all paranoid about it. it has a camera too, but my dad shut off the option that let me send it to a website for downloading.. yeah. fail. i still take pictures that have to be taken though.

ugh, i dont know how many times i have to tell people that i dont like girly goth boys. good for you if you like them, but i dont have bad taste just because i dont like men that look like women (doesnt that make you a lesbian technically?) now i like men, and i like women, but i like men to look like men and women to look like women. occasionally i like an adrogynous person but never a person who looks directly like the opposite gender. and i know people expect me to like girly goth boys because im your typical goth chick but no. i like long haired bearded metal viking men and silly buzzcut juggalos with hairy chests. far more attractive. sorry to anyone with pretty boys, i just dont find your man very attractive at all. lol.

i need a trek to alachua, i havent been in too long.

 
 
Current Mood: sicksick
 
 
paganvastlands
27 October 2009 @ 05:31 pm



...but not fake. no, not fake at all.
so much for all that.
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Current Mood: crushedcrushed